14. SLEEPING ONLY WHEN NECESSARY. SLEEPING IN THE STATE OF TAHARAH (CLEANLINESS) AND READING THE APPROPRIATE DUAS
Many of those entrapped in this evil habit feel a strong urge to practice it when they retire and prepare to sleep, especially after having eaten excessively. Therefore, it is necessary that such youth should not retire to bed unless there is a real need to sleep. They should sleep in the state of tahârah on their right-hand sides. The du’as for sleeping which are reported from Nabi (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) should be read. Evilthoughts should be dispelled by reading Subhaanallah, La ilaha illallah, Lahawla walá quwata illa billah, the recitation of the Qurân or listening to it until sleep overpowers one.
If possible, it is better to sleep in the presence of another person. A person should meditate while lying on the bed that sleep is the sister of death. It is possible that he will not awake from this sleep, for how many people went to sleep, but never awoke therefrom.
15. GOOD, PIOUS FRIENDSHIP
This is a very important part of the treatment. It applies in the beginning, middle and end, rather the treatment is incomplete without it. A person should spend everything within his ability to acquire good friendship. The importance of good, pious friendship cannot be over emphasised.
Good company is so blessed that the dog of Ashâbe Kahf (the Companions of the Cave) was honoured because of their blessed company. Ibne Atiyya (Rahmatullahi alaihi) says: “My father informed me that he heard Abul Fadhi Jawhari (Rahmatullahi alaihi) delivering a lecture in the year 469 Hijri in the Jami Masjid of Misr (Egypt). He said:
“Those who choose good companions also receive a portion of their goodness. Look! The dog of Ashâbe Kahf was in their company, so Allah mentioned their dog in the Qurân.” Qurtubi (Rabmatullahi alaihi) narrates from Ibne Atiyya (Rahmatullahi alaihi) that the latter said: “When a dog reached such a stage because of his companionship with the pious, then you can well imagine how high will the stage of those believers be who keep company with the pious friends of Allah Ta’ala” (Ma’ariful Quran, vol 5, page 556)
Generally, it is impossible for a person to live alone, without any friends who will walk along with him on the path of life. When a person is deprived of pious, sincere friends who will remind him about the truth, then most certainly his evil friends will take him to an evil environment. Here he will live in a world which is filled with drugs, adultery, fornication, liquor, etc. Many youth who are involved in this evil learnt it because of bad company. Rasulullah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) has explained to us the importance of good, pious, sincere friends. Nabi (sallallaahu alaayhi wa sallam) said: “A person is on the religion of his friend. Hence, you should see who you befriend” (Abu Dawood, Tirmidhi, Ahmed). In another Hadith it is reported that a pious companion is better than solitude. (Baihaqi)
16. CONSULTING A PHYSICIAN/HAKIM
Some youngsters need to consult a psychologist or a urologist (a doctor who is well versed in the sexual organs) so that they could be helped in the treatment. There are some medicines which dampen and calm the natural passion. Sometimes psychological factors also cause a person to practice this vile act. Therefore, a treatment should be sought by consulting those well-versed in this field.
The most beneficial treatment of this vile habit is marriage. It is a recommended Shar’i means to satisfy the natural desire. Rasulullah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) has urged the youth to marry. Rasulullah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “0 Assembly of youth! Those who are able to marry should marry because it lowers the gaze and protects the private parts. And those who are unable to marry should make fasting compulsory upon themselves because it breaks desires.” Because of the indication of this hadith many Ulama are of the opinion that marriage is Wájib (compulsory) upon the person who is capable and in need of marriage, especially when there is a fear of fitnah (temptation). And what greater fitnah is there than a person performing that act morning and evening which Allah Ta’ala has forbidden.
By marriage a person satisfies his natural desires upon which he is created. He attains tranquillity, contentment of heart, a pleasant life and frees himself from all such thoughts and dangers that invite him towards this vile act. For this reason you will find very few married youth who practice this bad habit, except for those who have a reversed nature and blotted hearts. When some youth consider the matter of marriage very seriously, shaytân confronts them and places many hurdles in the path of marriage.
Firstly, he reminds them that studying cannot continue with marriage. Secondly, he frightens them with the burden of earning a salary and thirdly, he scares them of the future and the responsibilities of marriage … etc. Shaytán continually misleads them placing in front of them obstacles upon obstacles until they divert their attention from marriage. He then beautifies haram desires for them so that they may become entangled therein. He promises them that shortly they will leave this dirty and filthy habit once their condition improves and they are able to bear the burden of marriage. In this manner, this poor person drowns himself in the ocean of these false promises which only increases his attachment, ardent desire and persistency in this vile act until such time that he cannot free himself from it.
O my beloved brother! make compulsory upon yourself the advice which Rasulullah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) gave to the youth, leave aside that which shaytân has promised you and rely on Allah Ta’ala, the Mighty, the Great. Allah Ta’ala says: “And he who relies on Allah, Allah is sufficient for him” (Sura Talaq, ayah 3). Hasten towards marriage, the door to all goodness, success and richness. Allah Ta’ala says: “And marry the spouseless amongst you and those slave- men and slave-women (who are virtuous). If they are poor, Allah will enrich them by His Grace.” (Sura Nur, ayah 32)
In this âyah Allah Ta’ala has promised that He will grant richness to the poor through marriage. Allah Ta’ala has taken it upon Himself to help the person who marries with the intention of keeping himself chaste, as Rasulullah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) has said:
“Three persons are such that it is a right upon Allah Ta’ala to help them:
1. The person who strives in the path of Allah;
2. The Mukatab slave who intends repayment (A Mukhatab slave is he who has a contract of frredom) and
3. The marrying person who intends chastity.”
How many brothers are there who have married by taking a loan in order to keep themselves chaste. Allah Ta’ala knew their sincerity. Consequently, Allah Ta’ala opened a way for them, helped them and granted them abundance of rizq (sustenance).