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Muhammad bin Ka‘b relates that there was a great ‘âlim and ‘âbid in the Banû Isrâ’îl. He loved his wife very much. Co-incidentally, she passed away. This person was so grieved by this that he locked his door and abstained from meeting and conversing with people. A woman from the Banû Isrâ’îl heard about this so she went to him. She informed those who were guarding the entrance to his house that she wants to ask him a mas’ala and that it can only be asked directly to him. Saying this, she sat down stubbornly by the door. The person was informed of this and eventually permitted her to enter. She said: “I want to ask you a mas’ala.” He replied: “Go ahead.” She said: “I have a neighbour from whom I borrowed some jewellery. I am wearing it for quite some time now. Thereafter she sent a person asking for her jewellery. The question I want to ask you is that do I have to give it back to her?” The ‘âlim replied: “Yes, you have to give it back to her.” The woman replied: “That jewellery was with me for a very long time. How can I give it?” The ‘âlim replied: “In such a case, you should give it even more happily because it was out of her kindness that she allowed you to use it for such a long time.” When he said this, the woman replied: “May Allah have mercy on you? Why, then, are you so sad? Allah had loaned you something and when He wished, He took it back. (Because) it belongs to Him.” Upon hearing this, the ‘âlim realized his mistake and benefited tremendously from this conversation.

Lesson: Look at how this woman put some sense into this man who was a great ‘âlim. O women! You should also bear this in mind when you have to encounter any difficulty or calamity. You should also explain this to others.

1. A dyer, washerman or tailor was given an item in order to carry out his respective job. The item which is given to him is regarded as an amânah. If it is stolen, lost or destroyed unintentionally despite his taking all the precautions; it is not permissible to take any compensation from him. However, if he washed the cloth in such a way that it got torn, or placed an expensive silk garment in the cauldron in such a way that it got damaged; it will be permissible to ask him for a compensation. Similarly, it is permissible to take compensation for a garment which he may have exchanged (with another garment). If he loses a garment and says that he does not know where it has disappeared to or what has happened to it, it will be permissible to ask him for compensation. But if he says that a burglary took place and it got stolen, it will not be permissible to ask for any compensation.

2. You hired a labourer and asked him to deliver some oil, ghee, etc. to your house. On the way, it fell down. It is permissible to ask him for compensation.

3. As for the person who is not hired for that particular job, instead he is your employee, domestic servant or a person who has been hired for a day or a few days, if he drops anything, it will not be permissible for you to take any compensation from him. However, if he intentionally causes any damage, it will be permissible to ask him for compensation.

4. A person has been employed to tend to a child. Through his negligence, the child’s jewellery or any other item disappeared. It is not permissible to take any compensation from him.

1. You borrowed clothing, jewellery, a bed, utensils, etc. from someone for a few days and told them that you will return them once your need for them is over. The rule with regard to this is the same as that of an amânah. It will be wâjib on you to safeguard these items. If such borrowed items disappear despite your taking all the precautions to safeguard them, then that person cannot demand any compensation from you. In fact, even if you had told that person that if it gets lost you will compensate him, it is not permissible for him to take any compensation. But if you did not safeguard it and it therefore got lost, you will have to pay compensation for it. Furthermore, the owner has the right to take back his item whenever he wishes. It is not permissible for you to refuse to return it to him. If you refuse to hand it over to him despite his asking you to do so and thereafter it gets lost, you will have to pay compensation.

2. If the owner permitted you to utilise the item in a particular manner, you will have to utilise it in that very manner. You cannot use it in any manner contrary to that which he permitted. If you use it in a contrary manner and it gets lost, you will have to pay compensation. For example, a woman lent you her scarf in order to cover your head. Instead, you spread it out on the ground and lied down on it. On account of this it became damaged. She lent you her couch and so many people sat on it that it broke. She lent you a glass utensil and you placed it over the fire and it therefore broke. Alternatively, you used any other item contrary to its normal manner of usage. In all such cases you will have to pay compensation. Similarly, if you borrow an item and have this evil intention in your heart that you will not return it but keep it for yourself, you will have to pay compensation if it disappears.

3. You borrowed an item for a specific number of days. It will be necessary to return it on the expiry of that period. If you do not return it within the specified number of days and it gets lost, you will have to pay compensation.

4. If the owner lent an item and clearly stated that you can use it yourself and also give it to others to utilise, then you have the right to lend it to others. Similarly, if the owner did not clearly state this but your relationship with him is such that you have full conviction that others are permitted to utilise it as well, then the above rule will also apply. If the owner clearly prohibited you from lending it to others or allowing others to utilise it, then under no circumstances will it be permissible for you to give it to others.

If you borrowed an item telling the owner that you will use it and he did not prohibit you from giving it to others nor did he clearly permit you to do so, then check the nature of the item. If it is such that the manner of utilising it is the same and everyone utilises it in the same manner without there being any difference whatsoever, it will be permissible for you to use it and to allow others as well. If the item is such that it is not utilised in the same manner – some people use it in the proper manner while others mishandle it, then it will not be permissible for you to allow others to utilise it.

Similarly, if you borrowed an item telling the owner that a certain relative or friend will use it and the owner did not mention anything about you using it yourself or not using it, then the same rule will apply here as well. That is, if the manner of utilising it is the same, it will be permissible for you to use it. If not, it will not be permissible for you to use it. Only that person in whose name you borrowed it will be permitted to use it.

If you borrowed an item without informing the owner as to who is going to utilise it and the owner did not specify anyone as well, then the rule is that if the manner of utilising it is the same, it will be permissible for you to utilise it and give it to others as well. But if the manner of utilising it is not the same and you already commenced utilising it, it will not be permissible for you to give it to others. If you did not commence utilising it and gave it to someone else, it will not be permissible for you to utilise it. Understand this well.

5. It is not permissible for the parents and others to lend items that belong to their immature children. If they lend it out and it gets lost, they will have to pay compensation. Similarly, if an immature child lends his item on his own accord, it will not be permissible to take it.

6. You borrowed an item from a person. Thereafter, the owner passed away. Once he passes away, it does not become the possession of the borrower. It will therefore not be permissible for you to use it. Similarly, if the borrower passes away, it will not be permissible for his inheritors to use it in any way.

21. As far as is possible, make him learn under a religious-minded teacher.

22. Don’t ever allow him to absent himself from going to madrasah.

23. Set aside certain times in which you narrate stories of the pious to him.

24. Do not allow the child to look at books that contain love stories, stories that are contrary to the Sharî‘ah, stories that are obscene or that have no benefit, love poems, etc.

25. Give them books that cover the different aspects of the Dîn, and books that cover the necessary aspects of this world.

26. Once the child returns from the madrasah, permit him to play around in order to occupy him and so that he does not become dull-headed. However, the games must be such that there is no sin in playing them and at the same time there is no fear of physical injury.

27. Do not give the child any money to purchase fireworks, musical instruments or any other similar unnecessary items which amount to wasting of money.

28. The habit of watching games, matches, etc. should not be inculcated in the child.

29. Always teach your children some sort of hobby or trade which will help them at the time of need or necessity whereby they can support their families.

30. Teach girls to write to the extent that they are able to write necessary letters and also work out the expenses of the house.

31. The habit of doing their own work should be inculcated in the children so that they do not become dependent and lazy. You should order them to lay out their own beds at night and to get up early in the morning and neaten their beds again. They should keep their clothes neatly. Clothes that become undone or torn should be stitched by themselves. Clothes that are clean or dirty should be kept in a place where there is no fear of moths.

32. Emphasize on the girls to check the jewellery that they are wearing before they go to sleep and once they wake up the following morning.

33. You should order the girls to watch attentively at the cooking, sewing, threading, dying, and all the other work that is carried out at home so that they will also learn these things.

34. When the child does something good, praise him, kiss him, reward him so that he will feel happy. When he commits an evil act, call him aside in privacy and make him understand that he has committed an evil act and that others will think bad of him, and that whoever else comes to know of it will also think bad of him. You should warn him against committing such an act again and explain to him that good children do not do such things. If he repeats that act, punish him appropriately.

35. It is the duty of the mother to create respect for the father in the child’s heart.

36. Do not allow the child to do anything secretly. This is irrespective of whether it is some game, food or any other act. If he does anything secretly, you should immediately understand that he regards it to be evil. If the act is in fact evil, teach him to abstain from it. If it is a good act, such as eating or drinking, then tell him to eat and drink in the presence of others.

37. Set aside some strenuous work for the children which will keep them healthy, energetic and which will not allow laziness to overtake them. If it is a boy, he should do gymnastics, weightlifting or walking for a few kilometres. As for girls, it is necessary for them to work with the grinding stone and spinning wheel. The benefit of doing these things is that they will not regard such work to be below their dignity.

38. When walking, teach them not to walk very swiftly, nor should they raise their gazes when walking.

39. Inculcate the habit of humility in them. Their manner of speaking, walking, conversing, etc. should be such that they do not become boastful. They should be taught humility to such an extent that they should not even sit with their classmates and boast about their clothes, house, family, books, pens, ink, exercise books, etc.

40. Occasionally you should give them some money so that they may purchase whatever they wish. However, inculcate the habit in them that they should not conceal whatever they buy.

It should be borne in mind that the bringing up of children in the proper manner is of prime importance. This is because whatever good or bad habits they learn in their childhood, they do not leave them for the rest of their lives. From the time of infancy till they reach maturity, the following matters should be strictly adhered to:

1. Ensure that the child drinks the milk of a pious, religious woman. Milk has a great effect in the life of a person.

2. It is the habit of women to frighten their children by mentioning the police or other frightening persons or objects. This is an evil habit. Children become weak-hearted because of this.

3. Set aside specific times for making him drink his milk or feeding him so that he may remain healthy.

4. Keep him clean, neat and tidy because one remains healthy in this way.

5. Do not beautify and adorn the child excessively.

6. If the child is a boy, do not lengthen the hair on his head.

7. If it is a girl, do not make her wear any jewellery as long as she does not reach the age where she has to observe purdah. This is because this will pose a danger to her life. The other reason is that it is not a good habit to create a love for jewellery in a girl’s mind when she is still so young.

8. Have the habit of handing over the responsibility of distributing food, clothing, money, etc. that is to be given to poor people to your children. Similarly, give them the task of distributing food, sweets, etc. to their brothers, sisters and other children. This is so that they will inculcate the practice of generosity. However, you should remember that you must only ask them to distribute those things that belong to you. It is not permissible for anyone to ask them to distribute those items or things that belong to them from the Shar’î point of view.

9. You should mention the harms of over-eating to them. However, do not mention anyone by name. Instead, tell them that the one who eats too much is regarded as an ox (or any other similar example).

10. If it is a boy, incline him towards wearing white clothes and create a dislike in his heart for colourful and gaudy clothing by telling him that such clothes are worn by women and that he is a man. You should always teach him in this way.

11. If it is a girl, do not give her the habit of worrying too much about plaiting and parting her hair or wearing very stylish clothing.

12. When a child persists or insists on having something, do not fulfil all his wishes or else he will become spoilt.

13. Prevent the child from talking very loudly or shouting. Especially if it is a girl and she speaks in this loud shouting manner, you should scold her and reprimand her. If you do not do this, this habit will remain when she grows up.

14. Safeguard your child from speaking or mixing with children who have evil habits, who are not interested in their learning, who are in the habit of wearing stylish clothes or eating extravagant dishes.

15. Always inculcate a hatred for the following actions in your child, i.e. teach him to hate the following acts:
(a) becoming angry,
(b) speaking lies,
(c) envying someone,
(d) stealing,
(e) carrying tales,
(f) defending whatever he does or says,
(g) to unnecessarily “make up” stories,
(h) speaking excessively without any benefit,
(i) laughing unnecessarily or laughing excessively,
(j) cheating or deluding someone,
(k) not thinking about or not differentiating between good and bad.
If any of these acts or traits are found in him, stop him immediately and warn him.

16. If he breaks something or begins to hit someone, punish him accordingly so that he does not repeat such acts. Loving the child, consoling him or allowing him to commit such acts always causes the child to become “lost” or spoilt.

17. Do not allow the child to sleep very early.

18. The habit of waking up early should be inculcated in the child.

19. When the child reaches the age of seven, inculcate the habit of offering salât.

20. Once he reaches the age wherein he can go to madrasah, first teach him to recite the Quran.

1. When a woman has been issued with a talâqur raj’î, her ‘iddah is that she cannot leave her home until the expiry of the period of ‘iddah nor can she marry anyone in this period. It is permissible for her to beautify and adorn herself.
As for the woman who has been issued three talâqs, one talâqul bâ’in, or her nikâh has broken in some other way – the ruling in all these cases is that such a woman cannot leave her home until the expiry of her ‘iddah, she cannot marry anyone in this period nor can she beautify or adorn herself. All these things are harâm upon her. Abstaining from this self-beautification and remaining in a dishevelled and unkempt manner is known as mourning.

2. As long as the ‘iddah is not completed, it is harâm to carry out the following acts:
(a) to apply perfume
(b) to scent clothing
(c) to wear jewellery and ornaments
(d) to wear or suspend flowers (eg. from the hair)
(e) to apply surmah (antimony)
(f) to redden the mouth by eating betel leaves
(g) to rub tooth powder (with the intention of colouring the teeth)
(h) to apply oil to the head
(i) to comb the hair
(j) to apply henna
(k) to wear beautiful clothes
(l) to wear silk, dyed or colourful clothes.

However, if the clothes are not colourful, it will be permissible to wear them irrespective of what colour they may be. The condition is that they must not be clothes that are used to beautify oneself.

3. If a woman who is in mourning experiences a headache and therefore feels it necessary to apply oil on her head, she may do so as long as the oil is free of any fragrance. It is also permissible to apply surmah if it is applied as a medication. However, this surmah will have to be applied at night and removed the following morning. It is also permissible to massage the head or to have a bath. When necessary, it is also permissible to comb the hair, e.g. after massaging the head or in order to remove some lice that may have fallen onto the head. However, she should not allow her hair to hang down over her face or forehead in a stylish way nor should she use a very fine comb which causes the hair to become smooth and glossy. Instead, she should use a comb with large teeth so that no beauty may become apparent.

4. Mourning the death of the husband is only wâjib on a woman who is mature and not on an immature girl. All the above restrictions and prohibitions are permissible for an immature girl. However, she is still prohibited from leaving the home or entering into another marriage.

5. Mourning is not wâjib on a woman who had entered into an invalid marriage, whose nikâh was not performed in the proper manner and was therefore separated from her husband or her husband passed away.

6. It is not permissible for a woman to mourn the death of anyone apart from her husband’s death. However, if her husband does not stop her, it will be permissible to mourn the death of one of her close relatives for up to three days and not more. It is absolutely harâm to mourn for more than three days. If her husband prevents her from mourning even for three days, she cannot do so for these three days as well.

1. Sadaqatul fitr is
   wajib on the following persons: (1) the person upon whom zakât is
   wajib, (2) the person upon whom zakât is not wajib but who has
   wealth equal to the nisâb of zakât over and above his basic needs. This
   is irrespective of whether the wealth is for the purposes of trade or not and
   irrespective of whether he had it in his possession for a full year or not. This
   sadaqah has to be given on or before the day of eid
   ul-fitr.

2. A person has a
   massive house, very expensive clothing which does not have any gold or silver
   lace on it, he has a few servants, he has lots of furniture and other items but
   does not have any jewellery, and all these items are in use. Sadaqatul fitr is
   not wajib on such a person. Alternatively, he has certain items which are
   over and above his basic needs, some of his clothing has gold or silver lace on
   it, and he also has some jewellery. However, all these items do not reach the
   nisâb of zakât. Sadaqatul fitr is also not wajib on such a
   person.

3. A
   person owns two houses. He lives in one, and the other is either empty or
   given out on rent. This house is over and above his basic need. Therefore, if
   its value is equal to the nisâb of zakât, sadaqatul fitr will be
   wajib on him. It is also not permissible to give zakât to such a person.
   However, if this person is dependent on this second house, it will be considered
   to be a basic necessity and sadaqatul fitr will not be wajib on him. It
   will be permissible for him to accept zakât and to give zakât to him as well. In
   short, sadaqatul fitr is not wajib on a person who is permitted to
   receive zakât and other wajib forms of sadaqah. As for the one who
   is not permitted to receive such charities, sadaqatul fitr will be wajib
   on him.

4. A person has some
   wealth that is over and above his basic needs. However, he is also in debt. In
   such a case, his debts should be deducted from his wealth. If the balance of his
   wealth equals the nisâb of zakât, sadaqatul fitr will be wajib on
   him. But if it falls short of the nisâb, sadaqatul fitr will not be
   wajib.

5. Sadaqatul fitr
   becomes wajib at the time of fajr on the day of eid
   ul-fitr. If a person passes away before the entry of fajr time,
   sadaqatul fitr will not be wajib on him nor will it be given from his
   wealth.

6. It is best to give
   the sadaqatul fitr before going to the eid -gah. If it is not given
   before, there will be no harm in giving it after the eid
   salât.

7. If a person gives
   his sadaqatul fitr before the day of eid, i.e. in Ramadân, it will
   be fulfilled. It is not necessary to give it a second time.

8. If a person does not
   give his sadaqatul fitr on or before the day of eid, he will not be
   absolved from this duty. He will have to fulfil it at some time or the
   other.

9. Sadaqatul fitr is
   wajib only on oneself and not on behalf of someone else: neither on one’s
   children, one’s parents, one’s husband nor anyone else.

10. If a small child
    receives some wealth through inheritance or some other way, and this wealth
    equals the nisâb, sadaqatul fitr should be given from this wealth of his.
    But if the child is born on the day of eid after the time of fajr
    sets in (dawn), sadaqatul fitr will not be wajib on
    him.

11. Sadaqatul fitr is
    wajib on those who fast in Ramadân and also on those who missed
    out some fasts due to some reason or the other. There is no difference in ruling
    between the two.

12. If a person wishes
    to give wheat, wheat flour or parched, grounded wheat as sadaqatul fitr, he
    should give approximately one and half to two kilos. It would be preferable to
    give a little more than this amount. But if he wishes to give barley or barley
    flour, he should give double this amount, i.e. between 3 to 4
    kilos.

13. If a person wishes
    to give any other dry grocery such as gram or rice, he should give an amount
    that equals the value of the amount of wheat or barley that has been mentioned
    above.

14. It is best to give
    the value of the wheat or barley in cash instead of the actual wheat or
    barley.

15. The sadaqatul fitr
    of one person could be given to one poor person or distributed among several
    poor persons.

16. It is also
    permissible to give the sadaqatul fitr of several persons to one single poor
    person.

17. Those who are
    entitled to receive zakât are also entitled to receive sadaqatul
    fitr.

18. If the marriage of
    an immature girl is performed and she is sent to her husband’s house,
    sadaqatul fitr will be wajib on her if she is rich. But if she is
    poor, we will have to see if she is old enough to serve her husband and at the
    same time old enough to be in his company. If she is old enough for both these
    things, sadaqatul fitr will not be wajib on her, her husband nor
    her father. But if she is not capable to do both these things, sadaqatul
    fitr will be wajib on her father. If she is not sent to her husband’s
    house as yet, sadaqatul fitr will be wajib on her father
    irrespective of whether she is old enough to do both the above or
    not.