Mutual Relations

Akhlaq & Spirituality, The way to a Happy Married Life, Women & Family / Monday, August 15th, 2011

Rasulullah (salellaho alaihe wasallam) says, “Although they are weak, yet great people lose all sense of intelligence because of them.” Therefore, save yourselves from looking at strange women, this is compulsory for you. Even though one be professor possessing a PhD, a highly qualified graduate or even an eminent Aalim, without protecting the gazes, without taking due precaution one will lose ones senses when looking at them.

The Shariat has given them some rights of coquetry and playfulness. Rasulullah (salellaho alaihe wasallam) told Hazrat Aayesh (radhiallaho anha),

“I know when you are angry with me.”

She asked, “May my parents be sacrificed for you O Rasulullah (salellaho alaihe wasallam), how do you know?”

Rasulullah (salellaho alaihe wasallam) replied, “When you are angry with me you say By the Lord of Ebrahim and when you are happy with me, you say By the Lord of Muhammad.

See, although being a great Prophet and so honorable, he tolerated his wife and did not get angry with her. Therefore, they also have some rights. Some men think themselves to be rulers over their wives but Moulana Abrarul Haq Saheb (rahmatullah alaihe) has said, “Surely you are rulers over your wives, but only in matters of Shariat”. If she tells you to do anything against Shariat, e.g. buy a TV or video or allow photography or going to bioscope etc. then here you put your foot down, lay down your rules and never compromise. However, if she asks you to bring a cold drink for her sometimes, do not say you are not in the mood, because you had a big fight at the office today. Fulfill the rights of her love; do not be lax in this. To put a morsel in the wife’s mouth is also Sunnat. You have one contact of being a ruler over her and another as a lover. On the other hand, she has the contact of one being ruled over and the other of being loved. So fulfill the rights of love and your marriage will be a happy one. Your house will become a place of great peace and contentment, and above all, Allah Ta’ala will be pleased. Our mother Ummahatul Mu’mineen Hazrat Aayesha (radhiallaho anha) used to recite this couplet when Rasulullah (salellaho alaihe wasallam) came to her in the evening,

“We have a sun and so does the sky have a sun,

but my sun is better than the sun of the sky,

because the sky’s sun rises after Fajr,

while my sun rises after Esha.”

She says, “When Rasulullah (salellaho alaihe wasallam) came into the house, he came in smiling and greeted the house folk.” Nowadays, both these Sunnats have been left out. Although Rasulullah (salellaho alaihe wasallam) had the whole Ummat’s grief and concern at heart, yet he did not leave out this wonderful practice. May Allah Ta’ala also give us this Taufeeq.

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