Kindness to Wives


Akhlaq & Spirituality, The way to a Happy Married Life, Women & Family / Wednesday, August 17th, 2011

Hazrat Hakeem ul Ummat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi (rahmatullah alaihe) says it is wrong to reject the intercession of Allah Ta’ala, when He is, commanding to treat a wife well. She is weak and far from her parents, she is at our mercy. After giving birth to a few children she becomes weak and the husband takes out all his anger on her because she did not do some work of his. Alas! Why have you thought her to be like your maid (servant), how about you doing it yourself for a change. You were not given a wife to work for you. If she does any work for you, it is through her kindness. So Allah Ta’ala is interceding for His bondswoman, that treat your wife well, whether she be young or old, even if her teeth have fallen and her face has wrinkled. Not that when she was young and beautiful you did everything for her and now that she has grown old you treat her terribly. This in not correct. Think of this old lady who has grown old with you. When she was young and pretty you loved her, now that she is old, love her thinking it to be the command of Allah Ta’ala, and be kind to her for the same. If she has a headache, bring medicine for her and be merciful towards her.

Be Content with Your Partner

Many men are sorry later in life as to why they married their wife and not some other woman. Remember, what Allah Ta’ala has predestined must happen. Therefore, be happy with your lot, which Allah Ta’ala has chosen for you.

The Beauty of a Muslim Wife in Jannat

Ummahatul Mumineen Hazrat umme Salma (radhiallaho anha) asked Rasulullah (salellaho alaihe wasallam) “On the day of Qiyaamat, will Muslim women be more beautiful or the Hoors of Jannat?” Rasulullah (salellaho alaihe wasallam) replied: “The Muslim women will be more beautiful, because they performed namaaz, kept fast, served their husbands, went through so much difficulties at the time of giving birth etc.for all this Allah Ta’ala will place extra Noor of Ibaadat on their faces.

Whereas the Hoors did not do anything of the above, e.g. salaat, fast, labor pains, etc. So they will not have the Noor of all this. Just imagine the condition of a person who’s heart is filled with Noor by Allah Ta’ala. How beautifully Hazrat Umme Salma (radhiallaho anha) represented the Muslim women of the whole world by asking the above question.

How the Righteous Treat Their Wives

Coming back to the good treatment of a wife, Rasulullah (salellaho alaihe wasallam) was not hard or harsh to his wives; he always treated them with kindness. His life pattern was the most beautiful and most worthy of following. His character was also of the best and highest degree as is stated in the Qur’aan. Mirza Mazhar Jaan-e-Jana (rahmatullah alaihe) was of a very sensitive nature, but his wife was of a bitter character. When a disciple asked him why he had married such a woman, he said, “The honor and respect you see bestowed upon me is because of the blessing of Sabr which I make upon this wife’s bitter and ill-temper.”

Hazrat Shah Abul Hasan Kharqani (rahmatullah alaihe) was seen coming from the jungle, seated on a lion with a snake in his hand for a whip. When he was asked about his karaamat (miracle) he replied, “I have a very bad tempered wife, but I forgive her thinking her to be Allah’s bondswoman, and have patience on her ill-temper, Allah Ta’ala has blessed me with this karaamat.” By having patience, one attains great stages by Allah Ta’ala. Many men have become Allah Ta’ala‘s friends by just treating their wives with good character. Just think for a moment, if your daughter is bad-tempered and cheeky, and her husband tolerates her, will you not praise this son-in-law of yours? Will you not respect and honor this nobility and worthiness of his? You will even perhaps write down some wealth of yours for him in your will. Therefore, you should also tolerate the domineer of your wife then see what great rewards you will earn for this small action Inshallah.

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