1. If it is not possible to bring about any conciliation between husband and wife and the husband even refuses to divorce her, it is permissible for the wife to give some money or her mahr to her husband and tell him to let her go in exchange for that money. Alternatively, she could ask him to let her go in exchange for the mahr that he is still owing her. In answer to her request, the husband says: “I let you go.” In saying so, one talâqul bâ’in takes place. The man does not have the right to keep her back or to revoke his divorce.
However, if the husband did not answer to her request in that very place and instead he stood up and began walking or, he did not get up but the wife stood up and began walking about, and only then did the husband say: “Okay, I let you go”, in such a case this is not considered. The request and the reply to it have to be uttered in one place. Separating from one’s husband in such a manner is referred to khula’ in the Sharî‘ah.
2. The man says: “I grant you khula’” and the woman replies: “I accept.” Khula’ takes place. But if the woman did not reply at that very place – instead, she stood up or did not even accept his khula’, it will not be considered. However, if the wife remained seated in her place and the man stood up after having said this, and the woman accepts the khula’ after he stood up, even then khula’ takes place.
3. The man says: “I grant you khula’” and the woman accepts. There was no mention of any money or any other monetary compensation on the part of the husband or the wife. Even then, whatever the man was owing to his wife or whatever the wife was owing to her husband will be forgiven. If the man still had a balance of the mahr to pay, it will be forgiven. If the woman has already received the total amount due to her, she does not have to return anything to the man. Despite all this, the man will have to feed, clothe and provide shelter to her until the end of her ‘iddah. However, if the woman had said that she will not even take advantage of these benefits during her ‘iddah, then they will also be forgiven.
4. When granting khula’, mention of monetary compensation was also made, e.g. the man says: “I grant you khula’ in exchange for R100.” The woman accepted this. Khula’ will be valid and it will be wâjib on the woman to pay the R100. She will have to pay this R100 irrespective of whether she has received her mahr in full or not. If she had not received her mahr as yet, she will not receive it now because it is considered to be forgiven due to her acceptance of the khula’.
5. If the conflict between husband and wife has been caused by the husband, it will be harâm and a major sin for him to grant khula’ in exchange for money or in lieu of the mahr that he is still owing. If he happens to take any money, it is harâm upon him to utilise it. But if it is the wife’s fault alone, he should not take any compensation in excess of the mahr that he had given. Instead, he should grant khula’ in exchange for the mahr alone, and not more than that. If he takes more than the mahr, it will not be a good thing. At the same time, there is no sin in taking more.
6. The woman was not happy about khula’. The man forced her and compelled her to make khula’. In other words, he beat her and threatened her into making khula’. In such a case, divorce will take place but it will not be wâjib on the woman to give any monetary compensation. If the man had an outstanding amount of mahr to pay, this will also not be forgiven (he will have to pay it to her).
7. All the above rules will apply only when the word khula’ was mentioned or the following was said: (1) “Leave my life in exchange for R100, R1000, etc.”, (2) “Leave me in exchange for my mahr.”
If the above-mentioned was not said and instead, the word divorce was used, e.g. she says: “Divorce me in exchange for R100”, this will not be khula’. If the man grants a divorce in exchange for that money, one talâqul bâ’in will take place. In such a case, no rights or debts will be forgiven – neither those that the man has to fulfil nor those that the woman has to fulfil. If the man had not paid the mahr as yet, it will not be forgiven and the woman can claim it. Furthermore, the man will take the R100 from the woman.
8. The man says: “I am divorcing you in exchange for R100.” This will be dependent on the acceptance of the woman. If she does not accept, divorce will not take place. If she accepts, one talâqul bâ’in will take place. However, if she accepts after having changed her place, divorce will not take place.
9. The woman says: “Divorce me!” The man replies: “Forgive me from paying your mahr and all the other debts that I owe you, only then will I divorce you.” Upon this, the woman replied: “Okay I forgive you.” Thereafter, the man did not divorce her. In such a case, nothing will be forgiven and he will still have to pay her all the money that he owes. If he divorces her in that very place, he will be absolved from paying her anything.
10. The woman says: “Give me three divorces in exchange for R300.” In reply to this, the man gives her only one divorce. In such a case, he will receive only R100. If he gives her two, he will receive R200. If he gives all three divorces, the woman will have to give R300. In all these cases, the divorces that will take place will be talâqul bâ’in, because the divorce is in exchange for some money.
11. An immature boy and a lunatic cannot make khula’ with his wife.