Good Character

Akhlaq & Spirituality, The way to a Happy Married Life / Sunday, August 14th, 2011

The fourth verse recited was, (”O people of the world! Your Creator is advising you to) establish good conduct with your wives.”

Who can be more degraded, who can be low than one who fails to heed the intercession of Allah Ta’ala. These are the words of Hakeem ul Ummat (rahmatullah alaihe). I say nothing from my own side. Whatever I relate is from my elders.

Hakeem ul Ummat Thanwi (rahmatullah alaihe) is informing us that in this verse Allah Ta’ala interceded on behalf of wives so that their husbands approach them with exemplary character. If the chief of staff, the commissioner of police, the highest-ranking general in the army were to intercede on behalf of one’s wife with these words, “Remember, your wife is my daughter’s best friend, they were school mates. If you happen to ill-treat her remember that I am the chief of staff, the commissioner of police, the highest ranking general in the army.” How will one, under such circumstances act when dealing with his wife? He will constantly asks her, “Is everything in order? I hope that I am not upsetting you in any way. Immaterial of what happens, kindly ensure that you do not complain to those who intercede on your behalf.”

In this case, it is none other than Allah Ta’ala, who is interceding on behalf of His bondswomen with these words, “Approach your wives with exemplary character.”

She may be your wife but she is also My bondswoman. Bear this constantly in mind.

Who can be worse than one who ignores Allah Ta’ala’s intercession? who turns a blind eye to the intercession of his Creator and treats his wife despicably by causing untold difficulties to her at every turn. Under such circumstances, particularly when the husband is an outwardly pious person who is punctual on Namaaz, who does have a beard and does not allow even his Ishraaq and Tahajjud to become Qadha. When such a person happens to degrade and beat his wife, who causes unnecessary inconvenience to her, she begins to think along these lines, “Better than him are those who adopt the western dress but who keep their wives in ease.” When she sees her neighbor being treated well by her modern husband, a heart-rending cry emits from the core of her being, that he is better than her so called, pious husband, “I wish I had not been stuck with this bearded person.” If this is our behavior then we are causing women to hate the beard. After the fact that we do keep beards, that we read our Namaaz with regularity, that we adopt the dress of the pious, that after having established a relationship with the Ahlullah, our responsibilities are greatly increased. Our demeanor must be such whereby her inclination towards Deen increases.

Approach your wives with such good character that she is forced to announce to the other women in the neighborhood, “If only, like me, you had married an Allah wala, you had married a Namaazi, if only you had someone who keeps contact with the Buzurgs.” Ensure that one’s character is of such lofty standard that she makes widely known the benefits and advantages of marrying a person who is Deeni conscious, who fulfills the rights of a wife. Therefore, be very conscious in fulfilling the rights of your wives. I have seen such people involved in great difficulties who ill-treated their wives.

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