- Allaahuma innee astakheeruka bu-ilmika, wa astaqdiruka biqudra-tika, wa as’aluka min fadhlikal – Adheem, fa innaka taqdiru wa laa aqdiru, wa ta’lamu, wa laa a’lamu, wa Anta ‘Allaamul Ghuyoobi; Allaahumma in kunta ta ‘lamu anna haathal-amra,- — (then mention the thing to be decided) Khairun lee fee deenee wa ma‘aashee wa ‘aaqibati amree — (or say)— Aajilihi wa aajlihi. Faqdurhu lee wa yassirhu lee thumma baarik lee feehi wa in kunta ta‘lamu anna haathalamra sharrun lee fee deenee wa ma‘aashee wa ‘aaqibati amree — (or say) — ‘Aajilihi wa aajilihi. Fasrifhu ‘annee wasrinee ‘anhu waqdur liyal-khaira haithu kaana thumma ardhinee bihi.
- Allahumma lakal-hamd. Anta qaiyimus-samawati wal-ard wa man fihinna. Walakal-hamd, Laka mulkus-samawati wal-ard wa man fihinna. Walakal-hamd, anta nurus-samawati wal-ard. Walakalhamd, anta-l-haq wa wa’duka-l-haq, wa liqa’uka Haq, wa qualuka Haq, wal-jannatu Han wan-naru Haq wannabiyuna Haq. Wa Muhammadun, sallal-lahu’alaihi wasallam, Haq, was-sa’atu Haq. Allahumma aslamtu Laka wabika amantu, wa ‘Alaika tawakkaltu, wa ilaika anabtu wa bika khasamtu, wa ilaika hakamtu faghfir li ma qaddamtu wama akh-khartu wama as-rartu wama’a lantu, anta-l-muqaddim wa anta-l-mu akh-khir, la ilaha illa anta (or la ilaha ghairuka).
O Allah, let us treat our wives with good character and bless the wives with taufeeq to keep their husbands happy. O Allah, Ta’ala create love between all couples. Give them a life for fulfilling Your commands and acting upon the Sunnats of our beloved Rasul (salellaho alaihe wasallam), and let them have hatred for all customs and innovations, let us all have marriages according to the Sunnat method. Save us from our evil selves and shaytan. Let us pass every breath in Your command and save us from Your displeasure. O Allah Ta’ala, bless perfect matches to boys and girls who are not married. Give them love and common understanding amongst themselves. Remove all their misunderstandings, fights, quarrels and arguments, and make their homes places of peace and contentment. O Allah Ta’ala, put mercy in the hearts of those men who are oppressing their wives, and those women who are troubling their husbands, make them good and obedient to their husbands. O Allah Ta’ala, bless all with ease, peace and contentment in the whole universe. O Allah Ta’ala, save us from the conspiracy of the Jews and the Christians. O Allah Ta’ala, destroy all their plans, which they are making to destroy the Muslims. Allah Ta’ala, accept these dua’as of ours.
Hazrat Hakeem ul Ummat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi (rahmatullah alaihe) says it is wrong to reject the intercession of Allah Ta’ala, when He is, commanding to treat a wife well. She is weak and far from her parents, she is at our mercy. After giving birth to a few children she becomes weak and the husband takes out all his anger on her because she did not do some work of his. Alas! Why have you thought her to be like your maid (servant), how about you doing it yourself for a change. You were not given a wife to work for you. If she does any work for you, it is through her kindness. So Allah Ta’ala is interceding for His bondswoman, that treat your wife well, whether she be young or old, even if her teeth have fallen and her face has wrinkled. Not that when she was young and beautiful you did everything for her and now that she has grown old you treat her terribly. This in not correct. Think of this old lady who has grown old with you. When she was young and pretty you loved her, now that she is old, love her thinking it to be the command of Allah Ta’ala, and be kind to her for the same. If she has a headache, bring medicine for her and be merciful towards her.
It is written in the discourses of Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi (rahmatullah alaihe) , an additional right concerning a wife is that she be given some spending money for her personal use every month and not be asked to account for it.
The next Hadith is:
“The most blessed Nikah is the one in which least expenses are incurred, and is simple.”
Allah Ta’ala has put blessing in simplicity, but nowadays the weddings have to be in halls and thousands of people are invited for meals. Food is served in buffet style, free intermingling of sexes, various types of food is served, music is blaring loudly, photos are taken with the bride being displayed on the stage, if possible then the whole wedding is also put on video etc.
About buffet style eating, Allah Ta’ala states in the Holy Qur’aan,
Rasulullah (salellaho alaihe wasallam) says, “Although they are weak, yet great people lose all sense of intelligence because of them.” Therefore, save yourselves from looking at strange women, this is compulsory for you. Even though one be professor possessing a PhD, a highly qualified graduate or even an eminent Aalim, without protecting the gazes, without taking due precaution one will lose ones senses when looking at them.
The Shariat has given them some rights of coquetry and playfulness. Rasulullah (salellaho alaihe wasallam) told Hazrat Aayesh (radhiallaho anha),
“I know when you are angry with me.”
She ponders as follows, “Had I been a man and he my wife I would have handled his case.” Together with this, let wives also realize the respect and honor due to their husbands as well. If at times they happen to over step the mark, bear in mind the honor due to them. Remember the position granted to them by Allah Ta’ala and in order to earn the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala forgive them. Consider service to them as one’s great good fortune. It appears in a Hadith, if a husband goes to sleep while displeased with his wife, none of her good actions will be accepted even though she spends the entire night knocking at Allah Ta’ala’s door with Tasbeehaat. Wives should also ponder and realize that the position granted to husbands is so high that, if permission was given for anyone to make sajdah or prostrate before a human, such permission would have been given to the wife in respect of her husband.
Rasulullah (salellaho alaihe wasallam) has said. “Nikah is my Sunnah.”
One who abstains from, who shuns my Sunnah is not of me. What is the commentary of this Hadith? If a person has some valid excuse, some plausible reason as for example, one is so overtaken with the love of Allah Ta’ala that he is unable to fulfill the rights of marriage, he is unable to fulfill the due rights of wife and children it will not be termed abstention or shunning. On the other hand, only if one has no such excuse, if one does not have a valid reason and shuns the Sunnah then he will be subject to the warning mentioned in this Hadith. Therefore, do not harbor evil thoughts regarding anyone. There were many great Ulema and Auliya who did not marry. Hazrat Bishr Haafi (rahmatullah alaihe) is one such person as is the writer of the commentary of Muslim Shareef. Allamah Muhyuddeen Abu Zakariyya Nawawi (rahmatullah alaihe), Allamah Taftazani (rahmatullah alaihe) among others.
The fourth verse recited was, (”O people of the world! Your Creator is advising you to) establish good conduct with your wives.”
Who can be more degraded, who can be low than one who fails to heed the intercession of Allah Ta’ala. These are the words of Hakeem ul Ummat (rahmatullah alaihe). I say nothing from my own side. Whatever I relate is from my elders.